Bye Bye!

By Mariah Carey

Pyestock Cricket Club returned from their annual tour of the Isle of Wight in high spirits, despite two heavy defeats and a host of injuries that plagued the side in both matches. Despite this, a good time was had by all, and it is hoped this tradition can continue in some form.

Starting at Porchfield CC, in temperatures approaching 30 degrees, Pyestock lost the toss and were sent into the field facing the talented batting line-up including the imperious Toby Corbin, who has in the past put many a Pyestock bowler to the sword. His 110 pinned together the innings as the tourists toiled in the heat. Neil Butler, Jay Threlfall and Jack Bromley claimed 2 wickets apiece as the Porchfield innings closed on 240 for 8, as Pyestock used 9 bowlers, Threlfall however ended in hospital with a badly dislocated finger.

In reply Pyestock’s young opening duo Tom Threlfall (36) and Ben Armes  (34) added 58 for the first wicket, and the score soon raced to 100 for 1 within 19 overs. A spectacular collapse however saw 7 wickets fall for just 27 runs as the away side fell to a comprehensive 113 run defeat.

Their was no let up in the heatwave as game 2 commenced at Westover Park, but a shorter game and the option to bat first raised spirits. These were soon dampened by an uneven track which saw only 29 runs scored in the first 13 overs.

The middle order rallied as Jack Bromley (51) and Colin Butler, who added 23 before retiring hurt, helped post 141 before tea, but in reply despite and early wicket from the leg-spin (!) of Chris Heath, and some memorable wicket-keeping from Ben Armes, the hosts eased to victory with powerful hitting from Grant Richardson and J.Kelsey, who scored 43 and 78* respectively. The innings was over in just 20.5 overs.

The pub finally beckoned and a few celebratory drinks were downed, before most headed to the ferry. A very successful tour, with some brilliant memories and better weather!

Pyestock Squad – 2018 Tour (IOW)

Chris Heath (C) – 2 runs, 1 wicket – says it all really, leading by something other than example, left everyone trailing on Friday however! Only win came in a game of Pool Friday evening.

Jon Ford – 19 Runs, 1 wicket (1 game) – Ball of the Year first up to claim just his 13th Pyestock wicket in 13 years.

Tom Threlfall – 44 runs – Highest ever Pyestock score (36) opening at Porchfield, promising bowling efforts too!

Ben Armes – 42 Runs – Bowled well without reward at Porchfield, Kept with the reward of a catch at Westover Park. Somehow lost £40, only to find it hours later in his shoe. Good for banter, especially if Spanish. Double delight for all when his claims of only letting 3 byes though were crushed by double disaster to hand Westover Park Victory! Bye Bye!

Dan Heath – 20 Runs – Run Out by Armesy at Porchfield when looking good, a “NO!” would have sufficed. Uncharacteristically expensive with the ball.

Chris McGovern – 10 Runs – Only member of the team not to bowl, spent most of Saturday relaxing in the shade, nearly had his face re-modelled by a leaping cricket ball on Sunday. Rumours of bathing with Golf Clubs currently unfounded. Winner of the “Ben Armes Bye Sweepstake”

Colin Butler – 23 Runs, 1 wicket – Retired hurt straight after hammering a huge six screams “satisfied with effort” Impressively still standing after mammoth 2 over spell Saturday. Handy Cards Against Humanity skills

Neil Butler – 11 Runs – Kept Corbin quiet before taking the catch to dismiss the Porchfield opener, and was left stranded while batting in the same game. Impressive repertoire of Arnie quotes from the film “Commando”,

Jack Bromley – 55 Runs, 3 Wickets – Top run-scorer and wicket taker, signals an impressive tour, granted, not much to beat. Avoided sleeping in the toilet this year signaling all round improvement.

Pete Harris – 4 runs, 1 wicket – Hilarious 100yard+ march to the wicket to start his first over at Porchfield after retrieving the ball from the opposite side of the ground. Generally given the run around by Armesy all weekend. Poor bloke!

Jay Threlfall – 2 Wickets, 9.6 digits (0.4 Games) – Took the prized wicket of Toby Corbin at Porchfield before breaking/dislocating/generally mashing his finger. Allowed more drinking time on Sunday which was not wasted. Tour Organiser for 2019 looks a certainty. winner of “Best X-Ray 2018”

Paul Heath (0 Games) – Sat and watched with beer – all weekend, with no empathy. At All. Should have told us to bowl straighter at Westover Park.

Steve Brown – (0 Games) – Sat and scored despite Pyestock falling apart in terms of numbers. Mocked us with Beer, and a complicated scorebox at Porchfield. Didnt give us enough runs. No burgers all weekend, a surprise. Kept busy with multiple bowling changes. May need new pens.

Missing in Action: Paul Bright, Jake Baldwin, Ben Bromley, Norrie Short.

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